Well hello again!
I feel I should apologise for having gone off radar, it has been a while hasn’t it?
Following the Russian invasion of Ukraine I decided to take a month out of pushing myself. Belenchuk was in Moscow at the time and one of our dearest friends was in Kiev. So it’s been emotional. I think all the recent events of the past few years have left bruises on the soul. I struggle with this because…
“…To me, the interwoven nature of politics and the powerful is obviously so corrupt no matter what country you live in. It’s no wonder every side gets fed a different version of the truth, one that supports the current regime of its narrator.
That is what needs to change!
I’m feeling a lot of shame and guilt about wanting to promote myself and work on marketing the album but it’s extremely hard when all I can think about is the state of the world.
This weight weighs heavy.
There are innocent people being murdered!”
I really hope you can appreciate these feelings I’ve been having and you understand why I’ve backed off from my ‘entertaining trip’ lately.
I’m not interested in money, power, fame and love for the sake of it, if I have any of those things I want them to have been earned and for them to exist in a deeper and more meaningful way and certainly not for them to be seated in any greed that I have.
In keeping with true performer fashion, ‘the show must go on!’ so I am now picking up where I left off at the end of February. Album and launch planning continues.
To keep up with long term plans, I have of course been trying to keep up with playing in the rehearsal place as well as…
I’ve played 3 gigs now since pandemic restrictions lifted and I have to say, things are going well, one in a venue, one at a brewery and the other at a house party. I even had my friends in Leontas join me to play ‘Connected’ live, it was great fun to play with a real drummer and be the foundation for a great solo guitar.
The buzz of playing live is definitely something I’ve missed although I feel I still need to work pretty darn hard in the practise room to work on keeping focus whilst in the moment of singing the songs. And I really want to fix on my live sound too, I want to get the guitar sound into a solid shape so it’s consistent each time. Where it works well with and without the backing track.
I have applied to play a few festivals this year, but I think it’s hard when my online presence doesn’t scream and shout out they should pick me for a slot. Still, at least they will have heard from me and so next application season perhaps… I’m going to be arranging more out of town shows and probably only doing one focused gig a month in London.
Planning for the album launch is going okay, but it’s the ‘doing’ that’s been holding me back, and although I’ve explained the difficulty in motivating myself there is a deeper self sabotage at play.
Perhaps the day job is working me too hard, or not exercising or getting enough rest. Or perhaps I’m just 40 now and feeling the lull of energy… I have to say honestly, it is all of the above… But I’m working on it! Each and every one of those factors and I’m going to smash it!
Here’s a ridiculous picture of me doing a karate kid pose… Hiii-YAH!
Thanks always for your support!